Dear Max - Month 48

Preface: On my previous blog, I used to write letters to my son every month. I stopped doing it (publicly) around the time of my divorce because I didn't want to write about it publicly. I've written him 3 letters in the past 24 months and kept them private. But now that I have a new blog, I'm ready to start writing him publicly and trying to get back to this as I think it will be a wonderful gift to give him one day.

Dear Max, 

Oh, buddy, it’s been about 15 months since I wrote the last one of these letters and for that,
I’m really sorry. I thought when I randomly wrote the last one that I would pick it back up, but alas, I did
not, but now I’m trying again because I think it will be really valuable. I figured your 4th birthday was a
good place to pick it back up. So to begin, happy fourth birthday my boy. 

So looking back over the three letters that I wrote to you and kept private from the world, there’s a lot
to catch you up on. 

When I last wrote, you were talking a lot more, but it wasn’t more than 2-4 word sentences. We didn’t
really have conversations. Now, there’s just no keeping you quiet and that’s been a blessing and a
curse. I love to talk to you, teach you new words and phrases, and hear your actual thoughts and
feelings about things. It’s really nice for you to be able to let me know why you’re upset or why you’re
happy. Nothing beats picking you up from school and having your eyes light up and having you scream
“DADDY!” while running to me. Every so often, you’ll say “Um” over and over again while you’re
looking for the word you want to say and that can wear thin, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. 

Your eating still concerns me, but everyone has assured me it’s just a phase. Your favorite foods seem
to be the same as they were last time I wrote. You love pizza, chicken nuggets, PB&J, cereal,
pancakes, and mini-muffins. You also dig bananas, grapes, and strawberries. To my knowledge, there are
no veggies that you enjoy, but I’m hoping to break that habit while also breaking it in myself. I’m a
really picky eater and I’m probably projecting but I worry that you’ll pick up my bad habits. For now,
though, we’re trying to let you make your own food choices while also setting boundaries and limits. 

You’re fully potty trained and I actually can’t remember the last time you had an accident. You picked
that one up really quickly. When I last wrote, we had just transitioned you to a big boy bed and you’ve
taken to that really easy. At my house, you tend to get into your bookshelf after I leave you for the night,
so keeping your room clean has been a bit of a challenge (there are books everywhere basically every day
and it’s a battle I’ve chosen not to fight at the time). 

You’re a sweet and compassionate boy. You love to give hugs and kisses to pretty much anyone and
you’ll play with just about anyone. I imagine we’ll have to make sure to explain to you the concept of
stranger danger because you’re very trusting. I’m hopeful we can find a way to teach you to be careful
without being cynical and suspecting that everyone in the world is out to do you harm. 

You love music in a whole new way that you didn’t before. You have favorite songs, songs you know the
words to, songs you sing and dance to, songs you request when we get in the car. Currently, your
favorites are Changes by David Bowie, Born to Lose by Johnny Thunders and the Heartbreakers,
Blitzkrieg Bop by the Ramones, Shut Up and Dance by Walk the Moon, and That’s What Makes You
Beautiful by One Direction. You’re really all over the map musically and it makes me really happy. 

You’ve taken on dad’s love of superheroes and comic book stuff and that also makes me really happy. It’s
so wonderful to sit and watch Spiderman movies or Batman cartoons with you and know that when
you’re older, I’ll be able to share the super cool stuff. Man, I can’t wait until you see Heath Ledger as the
Joker. 

Your mom and I have continued to build on our co-parenting family dynamic just as we promised we
would. We’ve both met really wonderful people who we love very much and we’ve added them to the
mix.
You met Bubba (mom’s boyfriend Travis) about 9 months ago and he’s really great with you. I’m very
grateful your mom met someone who fits into our dynamic and respects what we’re trying to do. It’s not
easy and takes a special kind of person. 

You met Miss Katie (my girlfriend) about 6 weeks ago and you guys have become fast friends. She’s
really great with you and you guys love to play together. She has also taken to our dynamic like a duck to
water (do we still have water...and ducks? I’m fearful they may have gone away by the time you read
this…hopefully someone has solved climate change). It’s all going exactly the way your mom and
I hoped it would. We’re all 4 able to hang out together and get along and actually have a really great
time together and I think we’re all going to be a wonderful little family. 

The world is still the world. It’s full of ups and downs. Your dad is the type who looks for the silver linings
and the good whenever he can. It gets really hard sometimes because a lot of people who are in power
are just not very kind. But I’m inspired every day by things that regular people do for their fellow man and
I try to put a lot of my mind there while not burying my head in the sand. 

I think that’s all for now. I love you so much buddy and your mom, Bubba, and Miss Katie do too. We’ve
all got your back, we’re all looking out for you, and we’re excited to see what this next month and year
brings for you. Talk to you next month. 

Love,
Dad