Dear Max,
Hey buddy! Two letters in a row, quite a streak eh?
I think these letters could potentially get a little shorter. As time goes on, your development slows a little. Maybe that's not true but there are fewer firsts I guess.
So let's see. The most notable thing I can think of when it comes to speech is that in the last few days I've heard a few "dammit"'s out of you. I've always been careful to correct you to say "darn it" instead and you always apologize. Now to be fair, at the age you're reading these, I'm sure you've learned much more colorful and wonderful words than dammit. Probably from me! Language is a beautiful and masterful tool and swearing is an essential part of it. I hope that I've taught you to use swearing with effectiveness and purpose. When I was a younger kid, I would swear just to swear and it got boring real fast. But you'll learn as you grow older that a well placed F-bomb can really help you to communicate your point. It's one of the many lessons I look forward to sharing with older Max.
Eating...well, I've decided to accept the phase you're in and try my best. You're getting sneaky though. The other day I made really good cheeseburgers for us and decided it was a day I was willing to battle your stubbornness and make sure you ate a bite of your burger. You ate the whole bun...all the mac and cheese...and all the cheese off the burger and thought you were going to get a treat for that. But I insisted on one bite of the burger. Then I learned that sometimes you reap what you sow. You chewed that burger, spit chewed burger into your hand, put it back, chewed it more and tried to pretend you swallowed it for a good 15 minutes. It reminded me of the time that I kept a piece of meat in my mouth for 3+ hours instead of swallowing it just so I could get up from the table. Eventually, you snuck to the kitchen and spit it in the sink like I couldn't see you through the big proscenium of the kitchen island. In the end, a half treat was awarded for trying.
Your food stuff hits a button for me because I've been a picky eater all my life and it's a habit I'm trying to break at 36...which is way harder. But, I don't want to drive bad habits into you around your attitude towards food, so I'm trying to strike a good balance there.
You continue to be a really affectionate and compassionate kid. You love to hug the people you feel safe hugging and it's so wonderful to see you have so much love to give. You remind me of myself in that way. It's a wonderful quality, never let it go and just continue learning how to tell who is safe to give that love to. I promise that life will reward you.
You're getting a little more adventurous in life. We've spent a lot of this summer in pools and lakes and rivers and boy do you love the water. You're just like your dad in that once you're in a pool, it takes an act of Congress to get you out. Miss Katie and I took you to little city festival for the city of Warren and even though you were really scared to go in the funhouse because it had a creepy clown (which Miss Katie was kind enough to stand in front of so you could eventually get past it), you ran right up to the Scrambler and asked to go on it. I was in high school before I had the nerve to ride that thing. I tried to take you on it, but I was a little too big for the restraint so Miss Katie took you. As I watched, it looked like you were crying...but when the ride stopped I learned you were laughing the whole time. I'm glad to see you live with less fear. It's good to be cautious of things that seem really dangerous, but a life lived in fear is a life that's devoid of experiences. There are so many things I think I missed out on in my life because I was afraid. We'll discuss this concept more after we watch Defending Your Life when you're a little older.
You continue to enjoy music and I've been pleasantly surprised that more and more of the stuff I enjoy is working its way into your palate. When you were born, I started a playlist on Spotify called "Songs for Max" and it grows and grows all the time. Usually, when we're driving around, I'll put it on shuffle and then let you say "No" until we hit a song you like. Sometimes you surprise me. But your favorites lately have been "C is for Cookie" by Cookie Monster, "Changes" by David Bowie, "Blitzkrieg Bop" by the Ramones, "Sunflowers" by Post Malone, and "Shut Up and Dance" by Walk the Moon. You also love to sing the Beatles which is a lot of fun!
The family dynamic continues to grow and change for the better. This month Miss Katie and I had a game night with your mom and Bubba. We've found that, as we kind of knew we would, we all get along really well and have fun together. It was really cute and heartbreaking at the same time that you had such trouble falling asleep that night. I came into your room and asked why you weren't asleep and you just pointed through your door to mom's kitchen table where we all were sitting. I said "Do you want to be out there having fun with us?" and you just sadly nodded. Sadly, boundaries are important, so you had to go to sleep. We all feel really lucky that it's working out so well on that front.
To that point, this piece of news should be reported. Your mom and Bubba are getting married! It was a very surprising piece of news to hear and I know I was filled with a flood of different feelings about the whole thing. Mainly just shocked and surprised as it was not the news I was expecting to hear when I dropped you off at mom's for a random Sunday with Nana and Grandpa and mom and Bubba. The main emotion that bubbled up for me was a fear that I was being replaced in your life. It's a fear I've dealt with from the beginning of all of this. But, I've gotten to know Bubba and he's a stand-up guy. He's not someone I worry about trying to replace me as your dad. He knows he's got his own special role in your life. I've always trusted your mom to maintain the vision we have for our family dynamic and this is no different. After I processed that feeling, all I could feel is sincere happiness for your mom that she met someone who works so well with the dynamic we try to create and someone that treats you both well and cares so much about you. I'm very lucky to have the same in Miss Katie. I'm really grateful for how well that works and I'm so hopeful and optimistic for it's continued success. I hope you're enjoying and valuing having so many different people who have your back and are looking out for you all the time.
Our president suggested nuking a hurricane the other day....so that tells you the state of things in the world. I'll be looking forward to what you learn in your American History classes 10 years from now. It should be interesting.
That does it for now. Continue being exactly who you are, that's all any of us ever want from you, period. I love you so much and your mom, Bubba, and Miss Katie do too. We've all got your back! Can't wait to see what September holds!
Love,
Dad
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